How do We Start?

Talk to your partner about seeing one. If he is strongly against it, go on your own. Individual counselling may clarify questions and expectations in your relationship. You may learn about your reactions and behaviours that directly affect the marriage. In the process, your partner may notice changes in you that would make him more open to seeing a professional, too.

Some couples may be embarrassed or uncomfortable talking to a stranger about personal problems, so they seek help from trusted relatives, friends or mentors. But if one partner seen these people to be biased, the move might prove futile or even counterproductive. Seeking help from people you know also poses some disadvantages. One or both partners may not feel very comfortable spilling beans, so to speak, in front of friends and relatives. Also, these advisers may feel some pressure from other people to take sides, or feel guilty if the relationship turns for the worse.